Interview with (Anonymous)

I was approached by someone who has experienced loss in her family. She agreed to provide me with information regarding her loss given that she remains anonymous. 

How are you related?

“I am her cousin.”

What happened?

“From what I’ve heard, she went into the hospital complaining of an ear ache. She was really sick, got better and then was sent home. The following morning, her mother woke her up, and my cousin had no idea who the mother was. Was brought back into hospital and after a week she passed away after getting progressively worse. They were constantly getting referred to different doctors, as the others had no idea. The diagnosis came too late.”

How did her mother react?

“I don’t know her initial reaction because I wasn’t there. When I eventually went to see them, I saw that the mother was still in denial. This was probably because the funeral home was a two minute walk away, so the shock hadn’t really sunken in. During the funeral itself she was fine until after the cremation. It must have been the first time she cried and broke down completely.”

How did her father react?

“He was in shock the entire time. You could tell that he was overthinking every moment. He was the same at the funeral. I didn’t ever see him cry but you could still see how pale he was.”

Does she have siblings? How did they react?

“Yes she does, her older brother was very quiet. He goes to school overseas and came back for her funeral. He spent a lot of time in her room. He isolated himself a lot and you could see that he was very numb.”

“Her older sister appeared to be fine, which came across as quite weird. It seemed like it hadn’t sunken in for her even after she went shopping for her sister’s funeral clothing.”

“The little brother didn’t seem to realise what was happening. Since the funeral was open casket I remember seeing him throwing up after seeing his sister’s body. He had no idea how to react, as everyone in his family were displaying different emotions.”

How did the extended family react?

“Our grandmother cried a lot. There wasn’t very many different conversations around the topic, besides the fact that she died young.”

How did her close friends react?

“The only thing I saw from them was them in tears.”

Was there anything else, in terms of reactions around her death?

“Her school is a mile down the road. During the procession, there was a long line of people going from her house all the way to school. It was for everyone to pay their respects, it was quite amazing. All her teachers and other friends were there.”